I am sorry about the wait. I have the file now, but I have not looked in to it yet. I have been working on a few things. I will get to it soon. Again, sorry for taking so long.

Tell me whether or not you believe the following conversation actually transpired, or if you think that just reading it was a waste of your time.

* *
Tonight (4/10/2010). At an unnamed bar in Bridgeport.
* *

Anonymous patron: Hey, do you know if Mr. Jingledonkey, Harlem Playboy, or Just Wondering are made members of the Outfit?

Unnamed Capo: Just Wondering is not made. Mr. Jingledonkey is made. Harlem Playboy is a very silly man.

Anonymous patron: Thank you very much. Can I ask you another question?

Unnamed Capo: Yes, you can.

Anonymous patron: What is a “dingleberry”?

Unnamed Capo: It’s a turd combined with balled-up toilet paper, which sticks to hair in your ass crack. It happens to everyone, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a very stupid phenomenon. Don’t ever eat them because they’re not food.

Anonymous patron: OK. Can you use “dingleberry” it in a sentence?

Unnamed Capo: Sure. How about, “My wife tells me that I need to wipe my ass better because my dingleberries are making my underwear an awful mess–however, I like the idea of her down in the basement doing laundry and cleaning up my foul nasty underwear.” How’s that? Does that make sense to you now?

Anonymous patron: Yes. Thank you for using “dingleberry” in a sentence. Now tell me more about Harlem Playboy.

Unnamed Capo: “While scratching my rectum, I was pleasantly surprised to find a plethora of dingleberries suspended in my pubic hair.”

Anonymous patron: I was asking about Harlem Playboy. I’m over the “dingleberry” thing.

Unnamed Capo: The only thing I want to talk about is dingleberries, so if you find that topic of conversation to be unacceptable, please go away and engage in a conversation with someone else. Thank you very much.

Anonymous patron: YOU ARE BEING UNCOOPERATIVE! AND YOU ARE BEING AN ASS!

Unnamed Capo: That is just your opinion.

Anonymous patron: Blah, blah, blee, bloh, blee, bloh!

Unnamed Capo: Don’t you ever talk gibberish to me again, OR I WILL CONTACT LAW ENFORCEMENT, YOU NERD!

-THEE END-

(Joe, I love KTF. Please keep on truckin’)

Have a nice day, yourself–and don’t scare anyone anymore.

Joe does not know me. I do not have any special privileges.
Let me ask you this: Who is attacking whom?
There is nothing wrong with defending yourself.
By the way, I’ve never used violent language against anyone.
Don’t you think that YOUR overreacting.
Once again, who exactly is attacking whom?
That is the question you might ponder.
P.S. I think that we would all agree that ‘Diggin yourself into a hole’ is a commonly used expression.
Have a nice day. This conversation is over.

Harlem Playboy/Horsey F@rt/Conan, I am going out on a limb by directly addressing you, but I want to know what was meant by hole-digging. You claim it was a metaphor, but you were responding to what seems to be only a single comment. Don’t you think that’s an overreaction, or were you using violent language against other readers?

Relax. Absolutely NO VIOLENCE here. I’m using the expression ‘digging yourself into a hole so deep, etc.’ strictly in a metaphoric sense.

Personal attacks? What personal attacks?
Just feedback.

Have a nice day.